end of july is here.
hmm.. it'll be a brand new month from tml onwards.
I strive to be happier.
I strive to be more contented with my life.
I strive to live my life to the fullest.
I strive to be a better person!
And yes! I strive to do small things with great love :)
My Resolution for the new month:
1. Lose weight and get toned up.
2. Save up more.
3. Gain more new knowledge.
4. BE HAPPIER :D
Gona get going lers.
It's tuition time already.
:)
Happy school opening to Liyi, Yvonne and Eileen :D
It's still three more months to my freedom!
Five more months till school starts *provided that I am wanted*
I missed studying :/
Fancy that coming from LIM JIA XIN.
ha..
I am watching XING FU SATURDAY - a matchmaking show.
Today's episode is on married couples.
They are like so full of complaints about their other half.
Hmmm.. funny isn't it?
Looking at them complaining, makes me wonder how and why did the men propose in the first place or why the women even accept.
LOL.
So funny.
HMM>.<
I wanna go KBOX so badly.
Payday please come faster!
I just re-thought my shopping list.
Here's the new one :
1. Pressie for Yvonne
2. Pressie for Esther.
3. Jacket/Sweater
It's so short now, 'cause I realised I shouldn't be spending so much.
I prefer spending it on others to on myself.
How weird :S
Yay. another show coming up on marriage proposals.
HAHA. I am really THAT bored you know.
Got headache again.
SIANNED!
Pretty Saturday.
Ysd's been an emo-ed night.
But things were cleared up.
I will and must learn to trust you more :)
Really must thank my boyfren for being so forgiving :)
Saturday.
Tuition was alright.
Quite productive today and I wasn't that tired after all.
Rushed to meet Suxian and Peiling at Orchard Station.
I was abit late 'cause of my stupid bus which came like HALF AN HR LATER.
Hah. Peiling was even later :P
Me and Suxian decided that she would be our dinner sponsor for the day.
Went walkwalk ard and windowshop for our own stuffs.
I made a virtual shopping list in my mind whilst walking ard.
I am going back nxt week.
Here's my list :
1. the pair of tinklebell necklace.
2. a new dress.
3. a pair of flats.
4. a pair of new slippers.
5. a pair of new heels.
6. a sweater/jacket (I so need one 'cause it's so cold everyday and my cardigan is not enuff :( )
7. an affordable makeup set (for a pressie, not for myself)
8. a new affordable wallet/bag.
And my list goes on and on.
There were these cute ppl wearing square-ish things on them outside cineleisure.
And it's like kind of "sms and get cash if you're lucky enough".
We were just standing in the middle of the road and sms-ing away.
Baba won $5 on her first try whilst me and peipei had no luck at all.
Then we crossed over to Heeren 'cause there were more of them there.
HAHA. Then there was this very nice guy who suddenly took out his phone and showed us all the codes.
But the three of us never win anything also.
We ate @ Yoshinoya.
And dunno why I was feeling kind of giddy just awhile before that.
Sighs.
But that didnt spoil my mood anywayhow.
I just lost my appetite, that's all.
then we went walked ard and finally ended up at Starbucks.
Then peipei abandoned us and went outside to find her boyfren.
Then me and baba who got really bored.
We took our things and left starbucks for better "activities".
Hehs. A picture paints a thousand words right?
We have SIX of them.
So, I saved typing six thousand words :D
OH anyways, me and baba came to a conclusion.
Both of us don't need alcohol to get high.
We get high all the same when we are SO tired :D
Here's Baba :D
Here's me :S
moomoo number 1
moomoo number 2
this is what I call a HUA CHI :D
Ok. I hope pictures of me won't give you a nightmare.
I have had a great day :)
going crazy and all :)
And off to bed, I must go.
:D
I am feeling emo-ed.
I just went for a walk by myself aft parting with Jer.
I needed to get my mind off things.
There is ALOT on my mind.
SO much that I can't possibly list them all out here.
*sighs*
Oh wells. Let me talk about my eventful day bahs.
Went sukisushi with Jer and Sis.
I have had a long break from jap food,
so it's good to taste jap food aft such quite a long time.
Then came home with sister and slacked ard.
Then went cwp walked ard until it's time for our movie.
Watched "KNOCKED UP".
It's a great movie in my opinion.
But there's a great deal of vulgarities in there.
I love the plot.
The whole movie flooded me with emotions,
even till now.
It's rweally my TYPE of movies.
Loved it to the bits :)
My conclusion : WATCH IT; it's great.
I don't like being so emo.
The feeling sucks lahs.
urgh!
Oh. A shout-out to my OLD buddy (lao peng you) :
thanks for the encouragements :)
Yes! wo shi limjiaxin.
wo bu yong zai hu bie ren shuo she me.
WO JIU SHI WO! (:
xie xie ni, lao peng you.
Your advices are always SHO gan ren.
ZHEN DE XIE XIE NI!:)
I may not be perfect;
BUT do not treat me like an idiot.
please.
:( this describes what I am feeling.
There is a distance..
A drifting distance; I'm really starting to feel like a passer-by.
A fate-less passerby.
:'( this is me now.
Whee! tomorrow is friday le!
It's my off-day! :D
It's been a hectic week.
Don't know why this week I am feeling so drained.
Is it cause I haven been crying?
how weird. Hehs.
I was SUPER high when I read the papers.
'Cause LA NINA is here!
Ok. I know I shouldn't be feeling happy for the climatic change,
But I really prefer it to El Nino lorhs.
Hehs. Okok.
I know this would mean more floods up coming at low-lying lands/regions,
and droughts for some parts of South America.
And it's going to be so cold everyday with the monsoons starting so early now :S
Ok. Maybe, I wouldn't like La Nina that much.
hMm. Boyfren just went home.
I imissed him already can.
Hmmm. Nothing much to do; we went for a drive around my neighbourhood.
Then came home to watch Die Hard on channel 5.
And now, he's back in msia going for his fren's bday celebration.
Yay! I finally found the song that I've been always wanting to find,
ever since I went for my cousin's wedding and got really attracted to this song.
And what's more! I think it suits my blogskin too:D
I aim to finish my FIRST illustrated book by the end of August!:D
But don't know when it could be published though.
must have money first mahs.
hehs.
Or probably, I could never be good enough to get my stuffs published :S
*sobs* thats sad.
在乎一個人，你會有何表現呢？
我覺得啊。。。在乎一個人時，
當你在乎的那個人不開心時，
你會絞盡腦汁逗她，只為了奪得她的一笑。
當她生病時，
你會陪在她的身邊，無微不至地照顧着她， 只為了不讓她獨自受苦。
當她不小心受傷或發生一點點的小意外時，
你會不顧一切地沖到她身旁，只為了確認你心愛的她是平安無事的。
當她在面對生活中的一切感覺有點心灰意冷時，
你會在第一時間出現為她加油，只為了當她最需要的精神支柱。
我好像把我自己的心聲寫出來了。
我想，大部份的女生都渴望被在乎吧。
我個人深深地相信，愛一個人，就算自私的，也要讓她有被在乎的溫暖。
Touched.
Perfect word to describe my feeling now.
After seeing Liyi's tag and Celest's, and after chatting with Clement.
It's been a really long time since I last have a MSN chat with CHEN WEI XING.
Haha. That guy even came up with a ridiculous bet.
I sure win de! :D HAHA!
CHEN WEI XING HAS TO TREAT ME!! ^^
YOU CAN START SAVING UP LE! :DD
THANK YOU PEOPLE! :)
It's very heartwarming to know that I'll always have you all by my side no matter what :)
I thank God for blessing me with great friends in my life :)
It's my offday today.
Hmm.. Actually, wanna ask boyfren to go out d.
But he reached home only this morning.
Think not going to meet ler.
I am so bored! :(
I don't have anyone to chat with online.
Everyone is like at orientation camps,
preparing for school and all.
Whilst LIM JIA XIN is still stuck home,
watching boring teevee shows and staring at my computer screen,
hoping that there is someone to talk to.
Can't stand this sort of boredom lehs.
ahhhhhhhhhh. someone save me from this boredom can! :'(
I am back!
And, I am okay le!
I am back to being the normal, cheery me!
haha.. thankyou to flor, peipei, ryan and junhao senior for your concern.
WO ZHEN DE HAO LE! :)
ok.. *yawn*
Am slowly recovering from the emotional drain :)
Ok. Flor just called to tell me that,
SHE FINALLY MADE IT TO BBDC IN 7CM HEELS!
*rolls eyes*
That dumdum, duno why she wore heels to school in the first place.
Haha *shrugs*
So sleepy neh.
My boyfren woke me up at around 7am,
though I went back to sleep after tt,
I am still BARELY AWAKE
*slaps forehead*
And, I have to go out for tuition lo..
*yawns*
I am whining around here,
cause I am not to disturb my boyfriend who is having bible reading right now.
Not sure when he will be done also.
:/
I miss going to kboxing.
I miss Japanese food!
I miss shopping!
but I am too poor to splurge on all those now.
*sooooooobs*
I am still in a pretty down mood.
SO STRESSED.
Though I most prob will be going for SIM,
I still praying for a miracle.
But you know something?
I really am not going stand anymore pressure from my dad.
TILL NOW, HE IS STLL YAKKING AT ME FOR MY RESULTS.
True, I have been a disappointment to him.
But shouldn't I be forward-looking?
Does the past matters more than the future?
All he cares about is his MIAN ZI.
He forbids me to go for my relative's bday celebration in msia,
for fear that they find out abt me nt being able to get into a uni unlike my cousin.
WTH.
I dont even see that biasness towards my brother?
ARGH. I cant take it anymore.
Been crying myself to sleep for the past few nights..
I am TIRED! :(
"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we wil not fear,
though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."
- Psalms 46:1-2
Thank you celest! :)
It's great meeting up with you:)
And thanks for your encouragements :)
Yups. There'll be a way!! :)
I have been thinking.
Since my dad wants to send me for further studies, why does it matter what kind of degree I get now?
Why spend so much on a private degree?
Maybe going back to Malaysia is a good choice.
*shrugs*
But I would miss my life and friends here very badly de lorhs.
haha.. I am speaking as though I am never coming back :S
Going to talk to Dad about this tonight.
Wish me luck.
It's a Monday night only.
I am already feeling so worn-out.
Sighs.
How am I going to last the week?
I have been so stressed out and up by all the decisions that I have to make.
But somehow, it feels like my dad is trying to decide my future for me.
I don't like that.
I don't like people interfering with my plans nor decisions, no matter how lost I am.
I just need useful advices and encouragements.
Not pressure or any brainwashing of any sort.
I feel so tired.
And scared; I am afraid that one wrong step at this turning point of my life would lead to another mistake in my life.
I have made enough mistakes to almost ruin my own future.
Chatted with Zin Htet today.
He told me that there are no wrong decisions; I'll just have to focus on making it right.
*shrugs* I just want to make a good decision.
Not a rash, random one; like what I always do.
I am a rather, or rather, VERY stubborn person.
That's like a well-known fact for people who have gotten acquainted with me before.
At times, I can be hopelessly stubborn.
haha..
My dad is thinking of me goin to PSB academy - the prison lookalike school in my opinion.
Then after that send me overseas for further studies.
Goodness! Ask anyone who knows me; Jiaxin studying beyond a Bachelor Degree?!
That would be like a miracle lah!
At least, for now I have no intention of studying beyond a Bachelor Degree.
I guess, I am really not cut out for studying.
First, I have no intelligence to excel.
And secondly, I am not rich.
That's like super sad can! - brainless and poor.
SOBS.
Oh! Anyway, I have resolved to put my heart into studying.
but that's provided that any school wants me.
And, though I have decided for now, that I wouldnt wanna study beyond a bachelor degree, I might be going to take up counselling for it has always been my dream :)
Ahh wells.. Or maybe, I can continue dreaming :D
I am still lost.
whatever should I be doing now?
I am still hesitating as to which step I should take next.
For I am reminded by my past that any wrong step or any rash decision would affect my future paths.
Sighs.
Any idea what I should do? :/
Oh wells.. Here's a shoutout to my boyfren who is having his exams tml.
hope he gets to see it in time.
ALL THE BEST!! ^^
Yups.
I am back from the PSB Academy.
Urms.. I might be able to start school in August.
Don't know if it's a good thing.
I don't quite like the campus.
It looks like a prison to me.
It's a new campus.
But it really looks like a prison to me! :((
And it's so faraway from my home.
*sobs*
Is this really what I want?
Is this what I really should be going for? :((
sighs. I am feeling lost again.
A big thank you to Flor for your encouragements.
But you didnt have to leave that tag here lahs.
It's kind of embarrassing :p
And to my boyfren, who told me that his happiness wasn't based on anything else but loving me :) *love you!*
Hmm.. I am going to miss my boyfriend lahs.
he's like going for Jesus Heals and after which he'll be having his exams.
And most prob, after his exams, he would be going out with his friends.
Sobs. When will I get to see him?!! :/
Later I'll be going down to PSB Academy to apply for my course.
Sighs. It's the first time I am going alone to do things lor.
how sad can!
hope the people will be friendly enough :)
*pray hard*
I have NOTHING to do.
Goodness me.
I am becoming a whiner :(
When my schedule is too full, I whine.
And when it is so slack, I whine about having nothing to do.
I've just finished revising one chapter of economics.
And I am feeling darn bored :(
And so, I sat in my room, thinking.
I think alot.
I THINK?
Hehs.
And sometimes, it's about the ridiculous stuffs.
*shrugs*
I am kind of feeling a bitbit insecure about myself.
I am like being abit not contented about my life.
Oh wells. I guess, the envious feeling is back again.
ahh. Maybe I should think so much.
Something good about today : No meowmeow.
BUT! it's boring day :(
I am Bored:(
| You Are 90% Real |
 |
| How You Are In Love |
 |
| You are Milk Chocolate |
 |
| You Are A Woman! |
 |
Here's a happy post :)
For my boyfriend cheered me up after that not-so-good incident last night.
He's sooooooo cute lahs.
He was like complaining that "we have been apart for 29 hrs ! 1740 mins! 104400 secs!" at the wee hours of 2am.
He never fails to make me smile.
And perhaps, he's all I need now :)
I thank God for blessing me with a great boyfriend :)
Uh no.
That heading was not meant to refer to myself.
Hmm.. I kind of not like people with fake fronts.
Why can't there be more real people?
Why must there even be a front?
It's what made my family so unpredictably predictable.
Ok. That was rather random.
I was just talking in my own language; if you can understand it, then good for you.
If not, don't bother thinking about it, it's not sth philosophical to think it over anyways.
I think this fake front stuffs are starting to build their pressure on me.
Ah.. but perhaps, it has all along been been doing that?
Ha..
I don't know.
I just used my whole night to think everything through after a bomb just exploded at home last night.
I realised some things.
It's not that I dislike studying.
True enough, I have sometimes jokingly said that my ambition is to be a tai-tai.
But I don't think that is what I really want yet.
I realised that I am actually ok with studying, but it's the circumstances that forced me to dislike getting into an university and even shuddering at the thought of furthering my studies.
I hate it when that someone says " oh.. you shouldn't worry so much about the money issues.. you just concentrate on studying properly."
That sounds nice right?
Like a caring character and all.
But not when that someone feels like blasting off at you, that someone will go, "don't forget you're living off me; I am the ONE paying for your studies and everything. And if I can create you, I can destroy you as well."
Whatever lah. I am sick of hearing all of that shit already lorhs.
:(
Ah wells.. I am done with releasing all the stress in me.
Do not think too much about this post.
I am just looking for an outlet.
For I know bottling up too much can lead me to depression.
And I am not someone who puts on a fake front and hides everything ugly that is in me from the outside world.
Yay. I just felt like changing a new blogskin :)
I know green hasnt really been my colour.
But I quite like the look of this particular one.
And so, TADA! :D
today's a good day!
Boyfriend came over to find me despite having to take the public bus and bear with the stupid hot sun.
He's so nice right?
Ah wells.. He played computer games whilst I got ready.
I took a rather long time. hehs.
But he's no better; he doesn't stop playing once he started :P
We went to Causeway point intending to watch Transformers.
Saw MDM KHOO - so cool standing by the side :X
No evening tickets for our movie and we settled for the thai horror 13 games of death.
Or whatever it is called lah.
Don't go for the show.
It's not really worth the money lorhs.
It's a superultra POOR imitation good of SAW.
And the plot is overly ridiculous -__-
*shakes head in disapproval*
After the movie, Jer followed me home for din din.
Saw Dad at the interchange again.
On the bus, me and jer were doing stupid things, making stupid comments.
Haha.. Laughed till stomach was aching.
Reached home, waited for dinner to start.
My boyfriend is a LAZY guy lo.
Still need me to peel prawns for him.
ok. He DIN ask me to; I did it of my OWN ACCORD :P
But still, he is LAZY.
After din din, watched teevee and ate nicenice taiwan mangoes:D
After which, I accompanied my boyfriend to the busstop outside the Singapore Customs.
I know I was kind of a pest for insisting to accompany you..
but all I want was to spend more time with you.
Somehow, every minute, every second matters to me.
ALOT. :)
Thanks for being so nice today :)
I wove you lots BOYFREN! ^^
